He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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