There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
