I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
