Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
