I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
