They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Randomize
