Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize