Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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