that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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