That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
