So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
