my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
