Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
well you can't waste a boner
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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