my vag is so smooth its legendary
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
