"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
