Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
