Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
