If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize