if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
