Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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