Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
