why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
