in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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