Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
