I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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