k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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