the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
