More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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