i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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