I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
