she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
