u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
