the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I understand Curling. That high.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
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