so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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