in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
