I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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