Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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