im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
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