Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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