never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
