You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
