you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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