So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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