I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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