this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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