Where did you get a picture of my penis
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
