her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
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