But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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