My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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