kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Pants are for mortals
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
