I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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