just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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