Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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