I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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