did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize