Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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