Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
