we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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