OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize