i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So much rum. So many feels.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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