She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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