Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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