Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I wear drunk well.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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