I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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