i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
