Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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