If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My life is pants optional.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
