Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
