Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize